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Eagle-eyed viewers wait with bated breath each year to discover which classic horror trope will be explored (and subverted) on American Horror Story. From killer clowns to cannibalistic inbreds and dildo-drill demons, the series has pushed the boundaries of small-screen horror, influenced a plethora of television shows and helped popularise the anthology format.

With its signature blend of camp and terror, trailblazing LGBTQIA+ representation and rainbow-studded cast, American Horror Story has also cultivated a devoted following among queer audiences. It certainly helps that the series boasts a line-up of legendary women who have gays screaming “mother!” – from Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson to Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates, Leslie Grossman, Emma Roberts, Lily Rabe and, of course, Lady Gaga.

Few topics in the American Horror Story fandom spark as much debate as which season reigns supreme. So, we've taken it upon ourselves to settle the score, ranking all 13 seasons from worst to best, from the inaugural horrors of Murder House to the show's thirteenth instalment. Without further ado…

13. 13 (season 13)

(Joey Pollari's triskaidekaphobia-ridden hospice worker will enjoy that sub-heading.) 

Where… to… start. Is there even any point in sharing the synopsis when the only appropriate response is what? was? that? I suppose I'll try: in American Horror Story 13, Ryan Murphy lures a collection of beloved veterans out of American Horror Story retirement – OG mother Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters, Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates, Frances Conroy and more – for a story in which, if I've understood correctly, Satan gets a sponge bath as part of his menacing mission to unleash all hell on Earth, only to decide, at the very last minute… nah.

And that's before we get into the season's blatant disregard for virtually all the established lore that came before it – including the entirety of Coven – its 20-minute episodes, the repeated dispatching of Cordelia Goode (the Supreme, no less) by a bunch of incompetent goons, and the reduction of once-iconic characters to pale imitations of their former selves.

The indignities don't end there: Kathy Bates receiving main cast billing despite clocking in at approximately 16 seconds of screentime (slay for her, though); the nonsensical revelation that Constance Langdon and Fiona Goode are twin sisters; Madison's supersonic devil birth; Paul Anthony Kelly's… shaky performance; and precious minutes squandered on utterly inconsequential characters such as Ashley.

Jessica Lange, who single-handedly salvaged every scene she appeared in, deserved so much better. The cinematography deserves its props, too.

12. Delicate (season 12)

News of Kim Kardashian's involvement in Delicate was met with widespread contempt online, with fans branding her casting a "joke" and a desperate stunt to attract viewers. Ironically, her performance as Siobhan Corbyn, the wickedly bitchy publicist to Emma Roberts' Oscar-hungry Anna Victoria Alcott, is widely regarded as one of the season's saving graces. (Not Emmy-worthy, but certainly entertaining.)

Based on Danielle Valentine's novel Delicate Condition, the nine-episode season follows Anna, an actress who becomes convinced that someone – or something – is trying to sabotage her pregnancy. Unfortunately, very little else works. Beyond Kim's surprisingly enjoyable performance and Anna's gloriously camp pro-abortion and defecation Instagram Reel, Delicate struggles to find its footing. Its exploration of psychological abuse and gaslighting is arguably one of its stronger elements, offering a rather unsettling depiction of manipulation and coercive control. However, there's only so much of Anna running amok, questioning her sanity and spiralling into paranoia that an audience can take before it starts to wear thin.

And the finale? Insulting. The season's supposed big bads – a coven of evil witches led by Siobhan – are ultimately eradicated with a single incantation from… a ghost. That's it. That's the resolution. Who signed off on that? I need names and addresses.

11. Double Feature (season 10)

Featuring gnarly, pale creatures that wouldn't look out of place on Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and Sarah Paulson's hilariously unhinged "Tuberculosis Karen") lurking around an eerie Provincetown setting, the first half of Double Feature marked a promising return to American Horror Story's horror-centric roots. Red Tide offered a genuinely original premise, brought back a host of fan-favourite veterans and struck an almost perfect balance between hair-raising terror and high camp.

Which makes it all the more baffling that the creative team – we're looking at you, Ryan – chose to end the season with a deeply unsatisfying, rushed finale before abruptly shifting gears into Death Valley: arguably the four most catastrophic hours in American Horror Story history (at least until Delicate and 13 came along).