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Ibiza didn’t need any sexing up. You knew that, didn’t you? Famous for sexy it is, from the mega-clubs to the nudie beaches, it’s pretty much oozing sex. It’s why people go. That and the fact that it’s dead handy, just a couple of hours away, has that famous spiritual feeling and has been home to the LGBTQs since before the first raver ever lost their bag, their drugs, their money and their mind in a foam party somewhere in San Antonio, where you need never EVER go.

But just in case Ibiza did need a top-up of the whole sexy thing, well, it just got it and in spades. Yes, people, The Standard has landed. One of our favourite hotel groups ever since we first partied by the pool in the now defunct West Hollywood Standard, the American brand has finally put its toe in the waters of Spain with a brand-new hotel right in the heart of Ibiza Town.

The Old Town is up there, visible from the roof terrace and pool, the Marina with its boats to Formentera is literally around the corner, while one side of the hotel sits on the gorgeously Spanish Paseo Vara de Rey, one of those traffic-free squares where there’s nothing but trees and benches and statues of people you’ve never heard of.

Having opened just this summer after taking over an old Art Deco cinema and, well, transforming it, The Standard is already creating the buzziest buzz on the whole island. All the right parties have been held on that roof terrace while superstars from across the world have been wrestling over who’s going to get the best suite.

Walk in and you might be in Miami. The famed cheekiness of The Standard is in real evidence in quirky touches like the six-foot yellow ceramic finger pointing up by the lifts, but the vibe is all tropical with outsize plants – whole jungles of plants – mid-century-esque furniture, a pale palette, palm-leafy prints, nicks and nacks and brics and bracs everywhere and a staff so friendly when they say they’ll show you to your room, you wonder whether you just got lucky.

And you did get lucky… well, you’re here, aren’t you? The rooms range from bijou but even there it’s beautiful with wood panelling, little sofas, quirky touches like 3D cushions and mod little drinks cabinets while bathrooms are slightly retro with frosted glass, ladder towel racks and concrete sinks. Obviously, in Ibiza, what with the sexy thing, you may well be bringing someone back to your room and let’s just say, they won’t be disappointed. Especially if you upgrade and get one with modern free-standing bath in it.

Oh but then, if you were in the mood for even more upgrading, just one block away is Casa Privada which, if your Spanish is ropy, means private house. Or, in this case, private guesthouse, and they’re not wrong. Coming in at 14 guest accommodations including some seriously swishy suites plus its own private pool and yoga studio, it’s like over the road, only more VIP-y. And very fancy-y.

And back at Standard proper, downstairs – and upstairs! – is where all the non-bedroom action happens. Jara is the restaurant and there’s plenty of it to go round, whether you opt for the little raised platform, one of the booths in between plants, again with that tropical upholstery, or out on the street where you can enjoy your food as you watch the world go by. Remember no cars to spoil your nosh. And no children in the hotel as it’s 18+ only. We told you it was sexy. And seeing as you’re on your holidays, they’re laying on regular DJs and live shows while you tuck into a menu that drifts between Spanish and Italian, from pan con tomate through paella dishes to pastas and burgers, including vegan.

Up on the roof – it’s actually called UP – you’ll find a little strip of a pool, more for cooling off than actual swimming, and a whole world of 70s print umbrellas (we’re sure our mum used to have that in the sitting room in a wallpaper), lounging sofas, a fully-stocked bar and views up to the Old Town and down to the water. The food up here is a laid-back take on Mexican, just right for snacking in between Margaritas, while the vibe lifts after sunset with DJs and a crowd gearing up for another big night out in Ibiza.

Ibiza was always the place you went for a little sexy fun – and came back needing a holiday – and with The Standard that fun just got a whole lot sexier. But then that’s The Standard for you.