Queerometer: Everything gay and nay this month

“FAG***********T!” 

I’m a bit dead inside right now, so it takes a lot for me to unleash a RuPaul-sized cackle – unless it’s videos of MAGA freaks being schooled by people with actual sense or that clip of Lisa Scott-Lee’s devastation over her single debuting at number 23 in the UK. (That's shit, innit?) But the second season of Adults unleashed several of those witchy cackles. Firstly, Anton being cock-blocked from finally going there with Paul Baker in his potential three-way with Issa (by a fucking raccoon)! And Issa ending Susan Boyle with her ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ performance.

The moment that cemented Adults as the best new comedy of the decade, however, was Issa sacrificing her own job to save Anton’s by bursting into his HR meeting and lovingly screaming “fa**ot” at him – with the bleeping doing absolutely nothing to disguise the actual pronunciation of the f-slur. Adults gets away with it because it knows exactly what the f-slur is, who it has historically been used against and, crucially, that three of its main characters are queer. It's a show with enough queer self-awareness to take a historically nasty slur, reclaim it and turn it into the punchline. See! Woke can be funny! 

Nicole! Kidman! 

Nicole Kidman has never been, say, out of style – just look at her filmography. Mother works! (And she does actual queer work too – look at The Hours and Top of the Lake.) But lately, the Oscar winner has been the subject of some particularly fervent gay adoration, thanks to her starring role in Troye Sivan’s ‘She’s the Best’ video, the return of her beloved Practical Magic spellcaster Gillian Owens in the upcoming sequel to the ’90s cult fantasy-comedy (stay tuned for our interview!) and, now, Slovak diva Adéla’s new track, ‘Nicole Kidman’. Lately, she's just been giving us that feeling… An indescribable feeling, really. You know, when the lights begin to dim? And we go somewhere we’ve never been before? Yeah, that! 

Beers! Queers! Baseball! 

Beers! Queers! Baseball! As it says in the sub-heading! Crave, the same network that blessed the world with Heated Rivalry, is hellbent on having a similarly seismic cultural effect on queer women with its upcoming softball mockumentary series, Slo Pitch. It follows The Public Lass Brovaries, a “queer underdog slo pitch softball team, led by their determined coach.” The show is arriving at a particularly opportune time, with queer women crying out for something like this ever since A League of Their Own was cancelled. The trailer promises sapphic drama, sapphic intimacy and a sapphic icon in Schitt’s Creek’s Emily Hampshire, who, judging by the trailer, is serving up some seriously cocky antagonist energy.

Jess Salgueiro, who leads the series as Coach Joanne, recently addressed comparisons to Slo Pitch being the “Heated Rivalry” for queer women, saying she’s “thrilled to be, in any way shape or form, in the same club.” And if that’s not enough to convince you, co-star Karen Knox has promised the cast is just “as hot”, while teasing: “If you like hot dog breath, then this is your kind of make-out. Less six packs, more sloppy.” Yep! We’re! In!

Muscles, Marys and MNEK 

‘Muscle Marys’ is exactly the kind of gloriously queer pop title you’d expect from MNEK, who has consistently delivered some of the century’s most delectable pop bangers – from Beyoncé’s ‘Hold Up’ to Little Mix’s ‘Sweet Melody’, Zara Larsson’s ‘Midnight Sun’ and his Joel Corry collab smasher ‘Head & Heart’. Tapping into a very specific, controversial corner of gay male culture, the track draws on MNEK’s own lifelong struggles with body image and body politics, exploring the exhausting pursuit of feeling “enough” and wanting to be loved for more than what you look like.

“I know I'm thicker than them / But who cares? I'm richer than them,” he sings, before taking aim at a suitor who’s “straight out of Men's Health magazine”. It’s funny, self-aware and deeply relatable, particularly when MNEK admits he’s “still shy when the lights are on” because of insecurities he’s carried since childhood.

That’s what makes MNEK so exciting right now: few artists are willing to celebrate the messier, hornier and more complicated corners of LGBTQIA+ culture whilst also holding a mirror up to them. After eight years, he’s finally bringing it all together on BULLDOZER!!, his second studio album and first since 2018, arriving 18 September. Muscle Marys, assemble! Yes, you!

Very gay: 

• Sterling Point confirmed for season 2 – yay for more rich pretty sapphic drama!
• London Dyke Deck at The Photographer’s Gallery Photos of our fave lesbians on a pack of cards. Gin Rummy anyone?
• Scott Bryan’s queer journey through modern television, Out Now (that’s what it’s called btw, Out Now)
• Jack Innanen’s promise to “show hole” – fantastic! 
• The M&S X Aries Range = peak sapphic fashion
• This sassy seal who is in contention for Gay Times’ next cover star

Very nay: 

• LGBTQIA+ icons dying! And not him! 
• Gal Gadot describing her AI Bitcoin film as a “pure art form” – it’s a hard nay 
• Starbucks’ Iced Pumpkin Cream Shaken Espresso… trying too hard, really 
• Those viral pop star pyramids that try to downplay Madonna’s impact – get a life! (Also, where the fuck is Italian icon Isabella Parigi of The Lizzie McGuire Movie fame?) 
• The end of summer – I like drying my clothes outside! And cancelling plans because it’s “too hot” to leave the house! Bring back 35 degrees! 
• Still no release date for Red, White & Royal Wedding. Amazon Prime: grow up!