Over the years I've come to embrace the fluidity of my identity: twink > gay > non- binary > trans > something else > something else?

How I present, how I move through the world, how I understand myself, all of this can change, and that’s something I love that about me. But beneath this fluidity, there’s a core I always come back to; my values, my ethics, my desires, my goals: my integrity. These are the things that keep me grounded, even when everything else is shifting.

I think about this a lot as a coach too. We talk about core strength as the foundation of movement, the thing that allows us to create tension, find stability and move with intention. And hollow body holds are one of my favourite examples of this. They look deceptively simple but they require you to bring your whole body together, create tension and maintain control. Your core is doing the work, but it’s not working in isolation… Everything has to connect.


What are the things we practise that keep us connected to ourselves?

When thinking about the hollow body hold for this article, I began to wonder what it means to apply this same thinking to how we live.

What are the things we practise that keep us connected to ourselves?

Gratitude, self-respect, accountability, compassion, curiosity. The things i return to when life spirals, when i lose direction, when i start to feel disconnected from who I am.

For me, being grounded has never meant being rigid. It’s about having foundations strong enough to let myself change, to explore, to grow and to be a mess sometimes without completely losing myself.

In recent years I’ve come to understand that my sense of self is inextricably connected to my loved ones - my chosen and biological family - it can feel like the world might be an easier place to be if we could live as optimised atomised sanitised individuals without needs or expectations of those around us.

For me, being grounded has never meant being rigid. It’s about having foundations strong enough to let myself change, to explore, to grow and to be a mess sometimes without completely losing myself.


In actuality when I feel most lost and furthest from myself it’s not training more, working harder or being “better” that helps. In truth when life leaves me feeling hollow it’s letting myself be held, emotionally and physically, that really brings me back to myself. That stabilises my core. A very different kind of hollow hold with a very similar impact.

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