Winter has officially settled in. The leaves have dropped, the daylight has disappeared by late afternoon, and we’re all suddenly experts in layering as we brave the cold for a quick dash to Big Tesco.
But as the temperatures dip, something else rises: the spirit of the holidays. From overly-glittered Xmas sweaters to festive markets, stocking fillers and relentless Christmas playlists, this time of year somehow melts even the iciest moods.
The holiday season also holds particular significance for LGBTQIA+ people. It’s commonly a time to nurture connections with family, but for many within our community friends and chosen family are who we celebrate with. However we choose to celebrate, one thing’s for sure – it promises to be camp, overly styled and filled with that special type of silly that only queer joy can bring.
To celebrate this, GAY TIMES has teamed up with Tesco to produce the inaugural That’s What Makes It Christmas Talent Show — which, naturally, nobody asked for, but everybody needs.
We invited three festive-fanatics from the LGBTQIA+ community to take the stage and deliver queer joy and holiday camp in a series of cheeky performances that capture the spirit of queer Christmas. So without further ado, meet our talented performers and their highly personal takes on the festive season.
Don One
Acclaimed London-based drag king, actor and performer Don One, flexed their comedic chops with a stand-up routine exploring the vital role of being the designated “Christmas Thuncle.” Opening with a crash course in the term, a playful moniker for queer individuals who use they/them pronouns, Don then explored their love for corny Christmas cracker jokes, including one about a reindeer’s favourite singer (spoiler: it’s Beyonsleigh).
“What makes it Christmas for me? The festive fit, the Brussels sprouts, and a stack of Christmas cracker jokes that are so bad, I can keep reusing them all year round!” Don told us. “A good Christmas Thuncle not only brings the lols — they make the festive period more inclusive. Just remember, babes: Christmas is for everyone!”
Fancy Shews
Next up was Artist Fancy Shews!, who delivered an educational and delightfully queer tutorial on their passion for crafting Christmas decorations — specifically, the classic orange pomander. After instructing the audience to gather their materials (a plump citrus fruit, cloves and ribbon), Fancy walked through each step of the process with signature flair.
“In the Shews! household, I love to handcraft a traditional Christmas pomander,” she declared. “Yes, it’s couture. No, I will not be taking interviews.”
Leila Navabi
Closing the show was stand-up comedian, actor and writer Leila Navabi, who performed a hilarious piano number highlighting their focus on chosen family at Christmas – and more specifically, their gay best friend’s passionate obsession with the big man up north: Santa Claus.
Aptly donning their finest Tesco Christmas jumper bearing the slogan “Yes I was forced to wear this” (here), Leila announces to their friend Steve that Santa is not hot, reassuring him that he’s a catch and doesn’t need to fantasise about a “900-year-old Father Christmas” to find happiness.
“Christmas is a time for confronting hard truths,” they joke. “Chosen family is beautiful, and the hot takes at the table? Even more so. Like the fact that Santa is not a ‘bear,’ and that the swede is objectively the best festive vegetable. For me, the true spirit of Christmas isn’t in the carols or the presents; it’s in celebrating the specific, ridiculous arguments that only happen when you’re deeply comfortable with your favourite people.”
Whilst we’ve now wrapped our first-ever Talent Show with a shiny red bow, the holiday season is only just beginning.
We know it can be a busy time of year, filled with last-minute shopping and countless parties, but we take solace in the fact that our friends at Tesco can help make Christmas uniquely ours with their festive range here.
