Design by Yosef Phelan
Special thanks to Ellen Adamson and Rey Stephen at Destination Ontario

“I’m coming to the cottage” is a phrase that’s reverberated around the world in the 10 months (!) since Heated Rivalry’s now-iconic fifth episode: the culture-shattering, faggy one-liner equivalent of Darth Vader revealing himself to be Luke Skywalker’s deadbeat daddy in The Empire Strikes Back. It’s the quote that arguably catapulted the Crave series from a steamy MLM romance about horny hockey hunks into a full-blown cultural phenomenon and queer mainstay, landing it on countless lists of the best LGBTQIA+ shows of all time.

Tucked away among the lakes and pine trees of Ontario’s Muskoka region, the cottage takes centre stage in the sixth and final episode of season one, where Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov leave the pressures of their public lives and "feud" behind to explore what it means to be together. Memes, edits and collective yearning have since turned it into a queer landmark. According to a statistic, it’s currently in more demand than the CN Tower. (I made that up but I think it's true.)

As a gay journalist, cinephile and avid reader of MLM enemies-to-lovers hockey romances (30 books this year alone; am I sad as fuck or on the right path in life?), I practically gobbled up the opportunity to visit the cottage in person. Call it professional curiosity, a pilgrimage, or an excuse to get unreasonably excited about Canadian real estate, but I was about to come face-to-face with the setting for one of television’s most talked-about queer love stories. I’d come to inspect a cottage and ended up conducting an emotional audit of every room.

A pilgrimage to the gayest real estate in Canada

En-route to Shane’s love nest, my travel PR bestie and I wet ourselves in the back of the vehicle with hysteria – 89% mentally, 11% an actual trickle of piss. Just to give you a sense of the fever pitch, we were both sporting jumpers emblazoned with “DON’T BUG ME I’M AT THE COTTAGE” across the back, purchased from The Pearl, a cute Muskokan restaurant and the only (!) place we found in our entire four-day Canadian voyage selling Heated Rivalry merch. (I wear it everyday.) (Possibly to a wedding in November.)

When we arrived, gay panic in full throttle, I almost failed to recognise the cottage until I noticed the abstract, squiggly sculpture by the front door – artwork that deserves to be displayed in The Louvre once Heated Rivalry concludes. (Alongside their helmets… sticks… the chair Ilya drags across the hotel room for his and Shane’s sub-dom romp in episode two, etc.) 

A striking modernist composition of wood, steel and stone, the house is tucked into the Muskoka forest like a chic architectural fever dream. The property belongs to Toronto doctor Michael Kutryk and is represented by Jayne McCaw, founder of Jayne’s Luxury Rentals, which has spent more than a decade representing some of Muskoka’s finest homes. Since appearing in Heated Rivalry, it’s become rather more than a luxury rental: the place is reportedly booked solid on Airbnb until February 2028.

Stepping inside, the happiest I’ve been since birth (I am very mentally ill so this isn’t hyperbole), was surreal, given how much time I’ve spent watching Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov fall in love, shag and made a very compelling case for buying property in Ontario. While I did imagine it to be even more secluded and hidden from prying eyes, it was even more glorious in person and, in a rare victory for television realism!, virtually nothing had been changed from the show. 

The slay scenery and the fact that I was standing inside the cottage should have been the main event. Instead, my eyes immediately honed in on a throw blanket, emblazoned with Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams’ GQ shoot: the flexing shot that sent the Heated Rivalry fandom into a collective psychosis and fuelled many a homo awakening. Shirtless men distracted me – groundbreaking!