The LGBTQIA+ community contains so many diverse identities and perspectives that, sometimes, groups can be overlooked. This is certainly true for asexual and aromantic communities – demographics whose experiences are often misunderstood or misinterpreted, both within and out with the queer community. 

However, to truly understand the spectrums of desire and love, it’s crucial that we educate ourselves about and advocate for ace and aro folks. Whether it’s reading about identities like fraysexual and demisexual that sit on either end of the ace spectrum, correcting harmful assumptions that ace or aro identities can be “cured”, or signal-boosting the work of ace-aro activists like Yasmin Benoit, there is so much that allies can do.

When it comes to aromantic identities, there is particularly limited visibility in the media and wider culture. For questioning folks, that means that there is little representation out there that validates or mirrors their perspective. Our society is so obsessed with the idea of romantic love as an ideal that most alloromantic (non-aromantic) individuals may not even know about alternative models of experiencing love. 

That’s why we tapped The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project to answer a range of NTK questions about being aromantic for those who are questioning and for allies. 

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What does it mean to be aromantic?

It can be hard to settle on a concrete definition of aromantic, not least because the term refers to a spectrum of different identities rather than one definitive experience. However, even if it risks over-simplifying things, it can help to have a quick explanation you can rattle off whenever family, friends or the public pose questions about what, exactly, the term aromantic means.