WORDS BY SARAH SHARP, JUST LIKE US AMBASSADOR

Ever since the moment I first learned about asexuality as a young adult, it has just made sense to me. I had always felt different to my peers when it came to attraction, sexuality and identity, so it was pretty magical to find the term that explained everything I was experiencing.

While discovering the concept of asexuality was transformative in understanding myself, engaging with asexual communities and continuing to learn has also taught me so much about the world around me. This Ace Week, I would urge allosexual (people who are not asexual) to reflect on what they can learn from ace perspectives, too.

One subject I’ve struggled with throughout the process of learning more about myself is physical touch and affection. I used to be terrified of physical contact with friends, avoiding hugs or even sitting too close to people, just because I worried it would give the wrong impression. 

There are certain types of physical touch – notably hand holding and hugs “lasting too long” – that have romantic connotations within society. But should we all be reassessing this norm? Touch can be an amazing way to show affection, and as someone who is asexual and aromantic, I was denying myself this type of closeness with friends because people who felt romantic and sexual attraction had claimed these actions for themselves, even unconsciously.