For some corners of the queer community, getting dumped leads to one particularly divisive dilemma: deciding what to do with the strap-ons and vibrators you’ve used as a couple.
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Throwing myself onto my bed and sobbing like Scarlett O’Hara has always been my post-break-up routine. I genuinely believe that this level of theatrics is a measured and proportionate response when your heart has been dashed against the rocks. I’m a romantic and a Scorpio – what can I say?
I also believe that after said bed-throwing, all reminders; cinema tickets, polaroids, love notes and sex toys – everything that’s ever reminded you of an ex, should be chucked into a black bin bag, never to be seen again. So while you might not see me handing back a big bag of dildos at The Planet like Alice from The L Word, you will find me crying while trying to unscrew the wall dildo à la Suki from Drive Away Dolls. I am not sorry.
